Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 20, 2009

Book Shopping

As you know, I’m a reader. I read a lot. Trashy novels, aka Historical Romance, and Smut. Paranormal. Fantasy. All good stuff. There is nothing I like more than curling up with a good book. Well, there is something I like more but we aren’t talking about that. We are talking about books.

So, since I am so very knowledgeable on what to peruse in all of these genres, here’s a list. Some of these books are part of a series of books so I suggest checking them out before reading them. Oh, and majority of the time if I liked one book in a series, I liked them all.

Goodreads is a great place to look books up. I will periodically update this list when I happen to read something fabulous.

Paranormal
Armstrong, Kelley, Bitten (Women of the Underworld Series)
Cole, Kressley, A Hunger Like No Other, (Immortals After Dark Series)
Kenyon, Sherrilyn, Acheron (Dark Hunter Series)
Meyer, Stephanie, Twilight (Twilight Series)
Ward, JR, Dark Lover (Black Dagger Brotherhood Series)

Fantasy
Bishop, Anne, Daughter of the Blood (Black Jewels Series)
Carey, Jacqueline, Kushiel’s Dart (Kushiel’s Legacy Series)
Martin, George RR, Game of Thrones (Song of Fire and Ice Series)
Moning, Karen Marie, Darkfever (Fever Series)
Wilson, CL, Lord of Fading Lands (Tairen Soul Series)

Historical Romance / Romance
Devereaux, Jude, A Knight in Shining Armor
Dunnett, Dorothy, A Game of Kings (Lymond Chronicles)Enoch, Suzanne, The Rake (Lessons in Love Series)
Gabaldon, Diana, Outlander (Outlander Series)
Garwood, Julie, The Wedding
Kleypas, Lisa, The Devil in Winter (Wallflower Series)
McKnaught, Judith, A Kingdom of Dreams
Quinn, Julia, The Duke and I (Bridgerton Series)

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Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 19, 2009

The Art of Pretend

Living with a Narcissist is hard work. Very hard. Although I am relating the high cost of my pretending in regards to staying with a Narcissist for so long, I think there are costs associated with anyone who sits in denial of a serious problem.

I was invited into a world of a kind and caring guy who thought I was absolutely adorable. One month after I moved in with him he changed. I saw his world for what it truly was. My living hell. I never should have married him and I spent 30 years with him. In order to live in his world I had to learn the Art of Pretend.

The cost of learning this art was the loss of myself and reality.

I pretended that my needs, feelings and desires were not important. I pretended I could meet all his expectations and when I failed I pretended that I deserved what I got for the failure.

I anticipated and met all of his needs even though he didn’t meet mine. I pretended that he was interesting, funny and desirable even when he wasn’t. I put on a show for family and friends to cover up the truth.

I believed my interests, passions and hobbies were only secondary. They didn’t matter and if he told me they were stupid I eventually let go of them for fear of continuing ridicule.

I pretended that he loved me even though deep down I knew that he didn’t. A person doesn’t treat one they love in the manner in which I was treated.

I held on to the belief that he would change even though I knew he never would. I pretended that he would one day love me the way he should.

30 Years. Gone. No more pretend. It’s time to live.

Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 18, 2009

Neurotics Notebook – Part Two

Yeah, I know I already did this once. What can I say. This stuff makes me laugh.

From The Neurotic’s Notebook – 1960 – Mignon McLaughlin

No good neurotic finds it difficult to be both opinionated and indecisive.

The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which.

Others settle for small rewards; the neurotic must always go for broke.

The neurotic circles ceaselessly above a fogged-in airport.

The neurotic is always half-drowning in anxiety, and always being half-rescued.

Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news.

From The Second Neurotics Notebook – 1966 – Mignon McLaughlin

Neurotics always feel as though they were going way up or way down, which is odd in people going sideways.

Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.

Neurotic: someone who can go from the bottom to the top, and back again, without ever once touching the middle.

The neurotic believes that life has meaning, but that his life hasn’t.

The neurotic lies awake at night, composing letters to those he hates. He seldom thinks of dropping a line to those he loves.

Neurotics expect you to remember all the things that they tell you, and many that they don’t.

Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 16, 2009

Narcissist Day – Conflict and the Narcissist

Part of why I write about Narcissism is not just because I was married to one for decades. That would be giving him way to much attention if it was all about him now, wouldn’t it?

I write about it in hopes that it might help someone else. I still struggle to understand how a person could be so mean and uncaring to another. I wonder if others do too.

The Narcissist I lived with had a terrible temper. It was odd that in some instances when you would expect him to snap, he didn’t. And in others he did. Really did. He would blow up over things that no normal person would be angry over. It was the sudden explosion of anger that always took me by surprise. Similar to a bomb going off right next to you.

I would say the term “walking on eggshells” meant, for me, waiting for the bomb to drop.

His anger was calculated to abuse – physically and emotionally. Then he would just turn it off and act like it didn’t happen. He would be all smiles and sweetness the very next day or even hours afterwards. Yeah, the day after he had been abusive he would greet me with “good morning!!”

So incredibly bizarre.

And if you didn’t play along with the forgive and forget bullshit you would be advised that you were someone who needed to lighten up or get some help or grow up or stop being so immature….

There is no such thing as a sincere apology on Planet Narcissist.

Never. Don’t even think an N is being sincere. It just doesn’t happen.

If the words “I’m sorry” ever came out of his mouth, he immediately followed it with “but…” And right after “but” he would explain how it was my fault he behaved the way he did. The N I was with did not take responsibility for his actions nor did he hold himself accountable to change his behavior.

I often wonder how it is that he walks around smiling and laughing. And sleeps well at night. Oh, yeah, lack of conscience and lack of accountability. Right.

Narcissists suck.

Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 16, 2009

Book Review – The Rake – Suzanne Enoch

I loved this book!!

The notorious Viscount Dare charmed Lady Georgiana Halley out of her innocence to win a wager. 6 years later, Georgie is going to make him pay for it.

The plan is simple: she will seduce him, just like he did her. And then she’ll kick him to the curb. Ah, but sometimes the best made plans don’t go exactly as one would think.

Tristan (Viscount Dare) and Georgiana have this red-hot love/hate thing happening right up to the end. The jabs they give each other are wickedly funny. However, they internally have a desperate aching for each other.

There are some great twists and turns and sex in some very unexpected places. I like the imagination Ms. Enoch put forth in that regard. Historicals I have read don’t usually go in the direction that she did. Georgiana holds her own, sticks it to Tristan real good and does what she wants. At times the pages sizzle and the ending leaves you with a big smile on your face. Along with a bit of giggling.

Read “The Rake”. It was fun.
Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 15, 2009

Feel Like Crap?

I have read that there are 5 stages of dealing with grief. In my case the grieving occasionally blindsides me regarding my crappier than crap marriage.

As I go through the myriad of emotions my pending divorce is inflicting on me, I really wish there were only 1 stage: get over it.

Stage 1 – Denial – The Head Up Your Ass Stage

Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc. This happens when you just can’t believe what the truth is because if you deny the reality, you don’t have to take steps to make a change.

Stage 2 – Anger – The Kick Some Ass Stage

Anger can manifest itself in different ways. Yes. Like wishing you could run him over, hit him on the head with a pot, stab him in the arm with a fork, break one of his many beer bottles over his head, etc.



Stage 3 – Bargaining – The Do I Really Want to Hang with An Ass Stage

When applied to relationships, people can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example “Can we still be friends?..” In some cases maybe this can work. In the case of a Narcissist, no you can’t be friends. Absolutely not. Don’t even think about it. No.

Stage 4 – Depression – The I Feel Like Ass Stage

In a way it’s the dress rehearsal or the practice run for what’s to come. It shows that you’ve begun to accept the reality. If you’re crying one minute and totally psycho the next, it’s ok.

Stage 5 – Acceptance – The Kiss My Ass Stage

This is where you finally get to the point where you come to the conclusion that things are what they are and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to change it.

And you put one foot in front of the other and move on.

Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 15, 2009

Book Review – Born in Sin – Kinley MacGregor

Ok, this booked sucked. Kinley MacGregor is also known as Sherrilyn Kenyon, writer of the Dark Hunter Series. I love, love, love her Dark Hunter stuff and have actually liked one of the MacGregor books. But not this one.

Caledonia MacNeely, who is a stunner of course, is offered in marriage to the infamous Lord Sin, who is a stunner of course. Though Callie fears him, she is under order of the English King to marry him. Banished as a child, Sin MacAllister learned to despise his Scottish heritage. A cold, hard heart has always been the key to Sin’s survival, but, of course, the beautiful red headed and spirited Callie awakens his heart.

This book was very predictable and boring. I read this on my Kindle and kept finding myself clicking through pages. Now, yes, I’ve done this before with other books to get to the sex parts. Ahem. That was not the case with this one. Even the sex was mediocre at best.

Truthfully, I’m surprised I made it through it. It’s touted as being witty but I found none of that. The love story was gag worthy and the language didn’t match the medieval time period.

There is nothing else to say and I probably should have ended this review after the first sentence. Well, if you want to be bored silly, read this book.

Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 14, 2009

I am So Going Here Before I Die

Consider this a bucket list of sorts. And, yes, more death related crap. What’s up with that? Whatever. I’m going to go to all the places below before I die. Seriously.

Even if I have to eat mac and cheese from the box in order to save up.
Even if I have to use the scratchy toilet paper.

Maybe.


While I was married to Mr. Wonderful Narcissist Jerk he didn’t care where I wanted to go. Only HE, The One of All Travel Knowledge Ever, knew the cool places to go.

Period.

End of story.

Well, I’m divorcing him, so, he can go to hell and I will go to way more interesting places.

Switzerland
incredible mountains and hiking, of course – getting ready for September 2010!

US Tour of Pacific Northwest and Alaska
it’s beautiful and, hiking, of course

Greece
ancient architecture and, yeah, perhaps I’ll meet a Greek guy who owns lots of diners

Tahiti
beaches, crystal clear water, hot natives

Scotland/Ireland
medievel castles and perhaps I’ll meet one of those highlander type guys

Australia/New Zealand
shrimp on the barbie and I can say G’day all the time

Norway/Sweden
two words: Norse Gods

Germany/Austria
hiking and medieval architecture

France/Italy/Spain
because I like to be a tourist in a foreign country where majority of the peeps hate Americans

Africa/Egypt
safari, mummies and mosquitoes the size of Texas

Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 13, 2009

What’s Your Sign?

I really didn’t believe in horoscopes and astrological stuff. A friend of mine is very interested in it. So, in order to get her to stop her incessant nagging, I decided to check it out.

Libra is known as The Scales, with birthdates from September 24 to October 23 and is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac, all the others representing either humans or animals.

Many modern astrologers regard it as the most desirable of zodiacal types. Desirable. Heh. That’s me.

On the good side, I am diplomatic and urbane, romantic and charming, easygoing and sociable, idealistic and peaceable. Yes, all correct.

On the dark side, I am indecisive and changeable, gullible and easily influenced, flirtatious and self-indulgent. Yes, flirtatious is correct. Everything else is wrong!!

They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes, and may indulge in romanticism. Yes. Indeed. Ahem.

How funny is it that Libra is DEFINITELY NOT compatible with my soon to be ex?


Not very.

I really wish I had looked into this shit a long time ago.

I am compatible with Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius and Aquarius. A few thoughts:

Gemini (Born May 21 – June 20)
Pleasure-loving Libra and high-spirited Gemini are an ideal mating. Both are curious and affectionate.

Leo (Born July 23 – August 22)
Libra’s playfulness blends quite nicely with Leo’s energy. Leo’s generous, expansive sensuality really lights Libra’s fire. Um, is it warm in here?

Sagittarius (Born November 22 – December 21)
Libra is stimulated by Sagittarius’s eagerness for adventure, and Sagittarius is drawn to Libra’s affectionate charm.

Aquarius (born January 20 – February 18)
Libra’s sensual nature is stirred to life by Aquarius’s bold and experimental lovemaking. And these two have all the makings for a beautiful friendship as well.

ok, so I’ve done my research.

And I do hope I can hold back from asking “what’s your sign?” on the first date.
Posted by: accidentalsarcasm | October 12, 2009

The End

While I was busy surfing around for epitaphs, I stumbled upon the dying words of famous people. I don’t know what is up with this death focused curiosity of mine recently. Perhaps I’ve finally snapped.

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough
Karl Marx

Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.
Jane Austen, writer, d. July 18, 1817

Codeine . . . bourbon.
Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

Beautiful.
In reply to her husband who had asked how she felt.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, writer, d. June 28, 1861

I’m bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

Damn it . . . Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977

I’ve never felt better.
Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939

I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.
Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I’ve had a hell of a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715

I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that’s the record . . .
Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

Go away. I’m all right.
H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

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